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Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party,
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog.
Little sister brought her new boyfriend,
He was a Mexican,
We didn't know what to think of him until he sang,
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad.
Brother Ken brought his kids with him,
The three from his first wife Lynn,
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell.
Of course he brought his new wife Kay,
Who talks all about AA,
Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel,
The First Noel.
Cook the Turkey,
Turn the ball game on,
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone,
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store.
We need some ice and an extension cord.
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite,
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights,
Hallelujah, everybody say Cheese.
Merry Christmas from the family.
Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen,
I can't remember how I'm kin to them.
But when they tried to plug their motor home in,
They blew our Christmas lights.
Cousin David knew just what went wrong,
So we all waited out on our front lawn,
He threw the breaker and the lights came on,
And we sang: Silent Night, Oh Silent Night.
Cool the turkey,
Turn the ball game on,
Make bloody mary’s
Cause we all want one.
Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go,
We need some celery and a can of fake snow.
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite,
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights,
Hallelujah, everybody say cheese.
Merry Christmas from the Family.
if that doesn't cry for a black family christmas party style remake, I don't know what does.
OK, I was looking for where Camden might be and where the blacks/paxtons/lawfords could live during the year, so I got on mapquest, and I was looking at possibliities. I think the best possibility for Camden is to situate it just outside of Greenwich, CT. If you've ever driven through Greenwich, you know what I mean...but if you haven't... This is the homepage of the town of greenwich, exactly 47 minutes outside of New York City, and oh so quaint I mean, they have a goddamn 'bicycle master plan' and a 'goose management program.' Could anything be more appropriate for Camden? As for the paxtons/lawfords/blacks, we need something about a half hour from greenwich and about an hour and a half from NYC I figure. James goes into the city rather rarely nowadays, and I figure that his firm has a CT office that he usually works in. We also presumably need an area thats not as ritzy everywhere as good old Greenwich. So, I looked up some more...
Top 2 Possibilities:
Name: New Haven
Distance From Camden: 59 minutes (this way Morgan can drop by and see mace during the year if she so chooses)
Distance from NYC: 1 hour, 42 minutes
Climate/Environment: Has regular bus service to NYC, and to far western CT. where Camden would be located small city/college town, rather liberal but retains that certain blueblooded, stick-up-the-ass, Connecticut (New England in general...) charm that we all know and love so much. as for housing prospects, this is what the site had to say: Residential living in New Haven is characterized by variety. The city offers housing that ranges from spacious historic mansions and brownstones filled with character (Lawfords...) to modern high-rise apartment towers, condos and residential conversions in former commercial buildings. Surrounding New Haven are bucolic suburbs steeped with classic New England charm (Paxtons...). Here, families will find restored older homes in downtown settings(Blacks...) as well as spacious single-family houses in recently built subdivisions.
Distance from Camden 43 Minutes
Distance from NYC: 1 hour, 27 minutes
Climate/Environment: Metro access to NYC, and to western CT. Definitely smaller, and more quaint than New Haven, and its def less likely that the governer would live there...also less likely that the blacks or paxtons would. Very high class, but gosh darn if it doesn't have a darling slide show on its website. Plus, closer to Camden in the long haul. Idyllic, peaceful, and probably has no black people. Seriously, like, preppier than barrington. The fantasy land of Trumbull
Mens sana in corpore sano: A sound mind in a sound body
Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem - Remember when life's path is steep to keep your mind even.
Animis opibusque parati - Prepared in minds and resources
Docendo discitur - It is learned by teaching.
Etiam capillus unus habet umbram - Even one hair has a shadow.
Fax mentis incedium gloriae - The passion of glory is the torch of the mind
Ipsa scientia potestas est. ~ Knowledge itself is power.
I'm actually rebooting godoflcliche strictly for buisness purposes, so there wont be many more idenity crimes. Unless you get drunk, and then I will be forced to change your icon.
A cornacopia of love!
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-though its small, i like Sirius' coat.
I just liked the title, "a kiss is just a kiss". Unless you homoerotic maraduers pushed against a wall of a dark alley. Then its called homosexuality. Who knew?
Look at how emo they drew Sirius' hair...I just like his nose, it reminds me of that of mace.
Awwww...stradle-ation. Thumbs up for.
Mistletoe is like cat nip for gay guys, jesus....
Sloppy, Drunk and with ties.
Do you really think I'm going to bother with captions when I can just stare??? Fuck no.
Hehehehehe frisky hands hehehehehhehehe. Yeah, I'm mature. hehehehhehehe
This is actually one of my favorites. Gah, licking.
Save the best for last...how cute is this? Especially if you ignore the Snape vodoo doll? *grimaces*